We had a mini-Christmas today with Paula’s mom as we are going to mine on actual Christmas. We gave each other our gifts and I cooked dinner. Then Paula had a nap while I played Sleeping Dogs. Now we are going to watch The Walking Dead and eat chocolate :D
Fake Christmas with Jade today. :)
2 years tomorrow since my grandma passed away. I spend allll year dreading the ninth of December.
my mom made me birthday cakes for my birthday that was on Tuesday but I don’t care because they were so GOOD and cinnamony and chocolatey
repping team recovery. Happy photos with food need to happen more often because they are an AWESOME tool.
Also I tried on my new cherry lip tint tonight and it’s great and I have brand new underwear on and it’s all great and my girlfriend is great
Would you believe I didn’t mean to say great that many times?! Great, great!!!
Going to make my own Christmas tree decorations this year from polymer clay so I’m shopping for some more clay tomorrow maybe! Yay!
come to the point where I don’t have normal days anymore, every day I have to make the choice between restricting or bingeing and purging. I don’t know what it would take to get any of the doctors I’ve seen to help me. I’m so miserable. They’re messing around with my antidepressants and now I just sleep and cry. Going to spit on the next doctor who refuses me help
things are just getting worse and worse lately.
Ice Cream and Strawberry Swirl by Lee Price
I really want some of Lee Price’s work in my future house. I hope you’re prepared for this, Jade!!!!
Unfortunately most of it is triggering but a few, like these two, are really lovely and peaceful and awesome representations of the relationship with food I’d like to have in the future. I first saw Lee Price’s work in Vogue when I was younger and really struggling with food and my body and it was so moving/shocking/upsetting that I sat and cried for a long time. My reaction to her work is different each time I look at it because I only have a good look through it every few months, and in that time my attitude towards food will have shifted a little bit each time. It’s a really interesting map of how things have changed and continue to change for me. I just really love Lee Price!
these were a few potential plans for today:
- long forest walk
- bonfire and fireworks display tonight
- dye my hair
- clean up and sort out my lizard’s vivarium
- new vintage shop
- charity shopping in Oundle
instead I’m in bed feeling horrible and sorry for myself and hating everyone for having fun without me. Party on
I really want to watch Once right now
Glen Hansard is perfect for tonight so I’ll just listen to him on spotify instead